Meenakshi's World

An end & a beginning

2008-01-01T19:35:00.000+05:30

2007 was a mix of good and bad - Including some very good & some very bad experiences. There were times when I wanted to focus on the bad bits, feel sorry for myself & wallow in self pity. There were times when I felt I could touch the sky & dance with the wind.

But there is one thing that makes this past YEAR very special.
This is the year when I saw the future.
The year when I connected with my past and realised that each day is an end in itself, that I will be able to enjoy it to the fullest if I will live each day as if there was no yesterday and there will be no tomorrow.

I will give of myself so that there is no bit held in reserve.
I will find love, solace, affirmation, peace & joy because they exist within me.
I will follow the path shown to me by my heart and feel no guilt in giving.
I am looking forward to the 363 days (it is a leap year after all) It promises to be the best year of my life.
Robert Thurman, a Buddhist Scholar at Columbia University has said “I am daily making myself what I am” That is my motto for 2008. The excitement builds.

Hindi Movies versus Hindi Television

2007-12-04T11:35:00.000+05:30

I read an interesting article by Vir Sanghvi in The MINT on Saturday. He raised the question of why are Hindi movies able to cut across all levels of society and all interest groups while Hindi TV seems to be stuck in a corner with its appeal limited to certain sections.

This is a subject that I have been thinking about and I think I know the reason, at least one key reason.
The ethos of current Hindi movies is pure escapism. It therefore appeals to everyone. There is a willing suspension of disbelief when you see a Hindi movie. You walk into a theatre knowing that you will leave logic & realism out, at the door. The song, dance, drama is alien to the world that you live in. That’s why you are willing to forget & forgive the contextual mishmash. In fact that becomes a reason to enjoy the movie.
Hindi television on the other hand is based on realism. A perspective that appeals to those whose reality is governed by family feud & daily squabbles. The women may be drowned in layers of pancake & dressed in garish “designer’ clothes but the bitchiness, the distrust, the desire to hurt are all part of the daily lives of millions of viewers. If you share that reality then Hindi Television & soaps in particular, talk to you with a powerful vocabulary. If not it leaves you cold & in fact pushes you away.

This perspective is further supported by the fact that Hindi movies which have tried to build audience appeal on believable realistic stories have seldom worked at the box office (on a large scale) they have had limited success, among certain types of audiences. Cross over cinema has been able to deliver modest success within segments.
Escapist fare on TV on the other hand has suffered failure except in a few cases. The success of KBC one was never repeated by two or three. Indian Idol & Jhalak Dikhla Ja too have shared the same problems. The first season worked because of the novelty factor. The second season was steady or declined and the third season will be ignored by the masses.

That’s why some of us will continue to watch Star World & Zee Café because that is the reality that we tap into. Not the sasu ma’s of Kyunki or the Bahurani’s of Kasauti.
And occasionally a Koffee with Karan to find out how the other side lives.

Meghalaya - Abode of the clouds

2007-11-22T17:56:00.000+05:30

We just spent 5 days in Shillong.
Mid November. The weather is beautiful. Cold but pleasant. The sun is warm, the skies are clear (except on our last day when it pours right through the day) and the people are wonderful.

Shillong is like any other hill town. Cluttered, busy, crowded & with the most amazing traffic jams. Traffic piles up for what seems like miles but everyone is patiently waiting for it to move. No horns, no demonstrations of machismo from alpha males. There is one road that goes through town which links Shillong with Silchar, Tripura and other large cities of the North East. National highway number 40! Right through the middle of the town. Trucks pile up for hours to be able to pass through the town during the periods when they are allowed in.
There is nothing much to see or do in Shillong town except for some very quaint Khasi architecture.
We had a meal at a restaurant in the Fire Brigade area that serves authentic food from Nagaland. It was a good experience but not for vegetarians!
The wild cherry trees were in full bloom and this is an amazing sight.
Some large, some small, all filled with a profusion of flowers. Beautiful pink blossoms that seem too fragile to survive the traffic fumes.
Masses and masses of pink of different shades. Why go to Japan when you can have cherry blossoms in Shillong!

We did a day trip to Cherrapunjee and it was worth every minute.

The drive to Cherrapunjee or Sohra town is wonderful. Villages dot the single lane road that is in surprisingly good condition (the road from Guwahati to Shillong is pathetic!) You travel through rolling grasslands dotted with the occasional farm growing Cabbages, cauliflowers and radish! School children are a frequent sight (just like Kerala). Groups of school kids with uniforms that would do a designer proud can be seen walking along enjoying their day as only kids can! Education is big. Virtually everyone speaks English and believes in the value of education. The rural areas are clean and the people seem provided for. There are coal mines and limestone mines dotting the countryside. Some pictures are like from Dante’s Inferno. Clouds of black smoke. Dusty faces with pales eyes peering through the gloom. Trucks that should be in an antique museums! Maruti 800 taxies that zip through the countryside loaded with 8 to 10 people! The Khasis are a small made people. We went to a khasi house and felt like bending each time we went through a door. The people are wonderful. Warm friendly and genuinely caring.

The Cherrapunjee Ridge and the Maywswaram ridges run parallel to each other. Green hills with a steep Ravine! Flowing at the bottom of the ravine is a stream. Too far way for us to hear but occasionally you can see the sun glint off the water and you know it is there.
Dogs are all over the place. Friendly, inquisitive & partial to Lay’s potato chips (we even met a goat and a chicken who chased us to grab some lay’s!)
The Noh Kalikai waterfall is a thin stream. The rains are no longer what they used to be. Cherrapunjee is not the wettest place on earth any longer. De forestation & global warming has changed weather patterns. Two years ago, there was a near drought in the region. The locals inform us that the Government & the Forest Department have got into the act and that felling is now being controlled. They are hopeful that things will change. They realise that while felling trees will provide easy money the price is too high for the entire community.
The land is owned by tribal communities and not individual families. The communities are ruled by the Matriarch. We met one of them and she was absolutely delightful but more about her later. There is a deep understanding of the symbiotic relationship between man & nature but sometimes survival forces them to take actions that they know are destroying their world.

From Shella we saw the plains of Sylhet. Miles of fields pocked with water bodies. Little did we know on Wednesday when we looked into Bangladesh that by Friday morning it would be a scene of devastation thanks to Cyclone Sidr! It is amazing how nature can be so beautiful & yet so destructive. Bangladesh is a country that bears the brunt of natural disasters year after year and I am scared to think of what lies in store for this poor country thanks to Global warming & climate change (I just got a call from my cousin in Switzerland. It has been snowing in her village near Basle for the last 15 days! For the first time in 56 years they are experiencing snow in early November! Another fall out of global climate change. You just can’t escape it)

The limestone caves at Mawsmai were amazing. The cave is 150 meters long and winds along at a steep gradient. We walked through upright but had to bend over through some sections. It is simply amazing but not for those with claustrophobia!
On the way back from Cherrapunjee we had lunch at a small restaurant in Lower Cherrapunjee called the Coniferous Restaurant. Great food at good prices and a very clean restroom (a luxury when you are travelling across India)

The Khasis somewhat the Malayalees are a matrilineal society (The Mallus are matriarchal) Children take the family name from the mother. After marriage, a woman adds on her husband’s first name as her middle name but retains her maiden surname. Feminists would approve. After all you know who your birth mother is with out complicated paternity tests! Maybe the Mallus & Khasis know something that patriarchal societies don’t! The Matriarch we met was amazing. She has done her M Phil on the songwriters of the 60’s and the 70’s with special focus on Bob Dylan, Simon & Garfunkle & Jim Morrison. She did her M Phil in the mid 80’s before the Internet. She travelled to university libraries in Delhi, Hyderabad & Calcutta. All this as a wife and mother of three little kids! What an amazing person. My husband was shooting her for a film that he is working on and my daughter & I just sat and listened to them. Her depth of knowledge and her passion for her subject was totally inspiring. She now is hoping to publish her M Phil thesis & I hope we can help her make her dream come true. What an inspiration she was. Small built but of gigantic stature. Truly a role model.

This was our first trip to the North East and we are sure there will be many more…….the North East is a fascinating place. It is a different part of India with wonderful people and a part that is still unspoilt & exciting. Go there before it becomes another tourist trap

Living a 360 life

2007-10-21T20:26:00.000+05:30

360 degrees.
Such a simple phrase but much abused particularly in the media and communications industry. The Industry to which I belong.
Every company, every service provider talks about their 360 degree approach to marketing, consumers, branding, retail, entertainment...what have you!
In all these years in the business I have never come across even one company who actually promises what they deliver. I have always been amused and cynical but never really put the pieces together. Why is it so difficult to provide genuine 360 solutions?
I think I have understood what is the cause.
It all starts with our view of the world.
How many of us have a 360 view of the world that we live in?
We don't understand the consequences of our actions on our environment.
We don't understand the effects of today's actions on our lives & other lives tomorrow.
We don't understand the impact that we have on the world around us because we cannot accept the fact that each human being is part of the balance that is life.
Only when we are able to understand that each of us is linked. Each of us is part of a giant complex structure that is interdependent. Only then will we have a truly 360 view of the world.
Till then 360 will be yet another buzz word.
Cheap but definitely not cheerful!

The Pug is in the doghouse

2007-10-18T11:24:00.000+05:30

Why do advertisers spend tons of money promoting an aspect of service that they cannot deliver?
Prime example being Hutch. For years they said “where ever you go, our network follows”. It followed but it never quite caught up. You were always just on the edge of the network no matter where you went. Not the cutting edge but the blunt edge.
Drop outs, congestion, poor voice quality doggedly followed you.

Before the pug became part of the Hutch lingo I expected drop out zones and poor signals. My entire family is on Hutch. We had a standing joke about sending Hutch maps of all the areas where their signal was poor. Then they used the pug to talk about their network coverage and it got very annoying! Why spend money to advertise something that you did not deliver? Why raise expectations & then fall flat!

Now we have Hutch being re branded Vodafone. You think it would get better right? No! It gets worse. The service still sucks and now they have even more esoteric advertising. The Pug has a new brightly painted house. Now he can no longer follow you……I think Hutch/Vodafone is finally telling us the truth!

Building consumer connections

2007-10-14T13:42:00.000+05:30

Every marketer pays obeisance to the consumer, or so they say.
Millions of rupees are spent on advertising & promotion talking to consumers and giving them the manufacturer’s perspective on goods & services. But how many marketers are actually listening to what their consumers have to say about them?

Over the next few weeks I am going to undertake an experiment.
As a consumer I interact with a number of brands and have experiences, some good and some not so good. I will be writing about these experiences. Let’s see if any one is listening.

At the end of the test period, the findings will be summed up in a report that will be available to all who are interested. One hopes this will be the start of a meaningful dialogue.

On being a mother.....thanks to Jenny

2007-10-07T18:46:00.001+05:30

My friend Jenny sent me a mail last week.
I have her permission to reproduce it here.

To all you mums and dads among my friends
I turn 18 years
as a mother next week and I sit here (alone of course, the kid's out somewhere having fun)
and contemplate ....
Why are some of us
given this most unique experience.
of bringing a new life into the world
without any warning, guidlines, user manual, gaurantee
no return- to - sender address
nothing
just some hormonal readjustments, intuition ,illogical, insane desire to give
patience that defies gravity
resilience that defies physics
and an elastic mind that multitasks , multi emotes, multi balances
put together, a bewildering mix
and as the "new life" grows beyond the peeing, shitting, bawling phase
before you have even had enough of that oh-so-short phase
when they look at you with those adoring eyes like you're the best thing in the world,
you're on a roller-coaster through the rest of the phases
you're so silly
you're so stupid
you dont know anything
you're a nag
you're so old fashioned
you're boring
you're slow
you're NUTS !!!(which by now you probably are)
then they ignore you
yes, you are pretty invisible for a while
unless of course they want something NOW!
by now you've had several really serious "why me" chats with god
wondering if she really knew what she was doing when she chose you
by now you’re convinced she sent you a faulty model
irrepairable, unmanagable, incorrigable
a lost cause(both the kid and you as a parent)when suddenly,
you see a small spark of change
by now you are also pretty delusional, so you don’t believe you really saw it
but it reappears 2 days later
when you both actually agree on something
then it begins to be many sparks together that light up between the usual you're old- fashioned- silly - nuts- talk you share a joke
clothes
books'
some gossip
a hug
you're asked for some advice
'its actually taken
yes, and you're asking them for some advice too the kid's beginning to make sense...somewhat
yup, the spark becomes a little light
that glows now and then
you , as a parent, are beginning to
re-learn how to re-kindle the light
and have the self assurance that
the light is there, even when you don’t see it
has it been worth it?
i...i... don’t know yet
butI guess the funny warm feeling in my heart today means yes, it has been
coming back to my first question...WHY
i still don’t know
maybe it was our turn to experience that special love
that holds within itself so many contrary, opposing, erratic , crazy
feelings all at once
absolutely nothing prepares you for that love
and absolutely nothing compares with it
and the rewards?
you just have to pat yourself on the back now and then
cos heck, no one else is gonna do it !!
lots of love to you
as parents. we're kindred spirits all
jenny

Does Indian smell? An olfactory reaction to Air India

2007-09-23T18:25:00.000+05:30

Do you think my grammar has deteriorated?
Maybe you think I have lost it…..yet again!

My grammar is fine (my spellings could do with a little help) and no I have not lost it.
I am talking of Indian, the airline! What a strange name! Try to say - I fly Indian. I love Indian, Indian is always late. The hostesses in Indian can make grown men quake. Except for the last line which trips off your tongue, the rest sounds very very strange.
But this post is not about how it sounds but how it smells.

Next time you board an Indian aircraft please take a deep breath.
What do you smell? Is it something that makes you breathe in deeply yet again or is it something that leaves your nostrils a bit shocked.
To my mind, Indian smells of Bombay. Let me try and deconstruct this unique aroma.
50% of it is “toilet smells” a stale blend that clings to the walls of the toilets and permeates the fabric of the aircraft (maybe that’s why Indian pilots seldom smile – They sit too close to the “SMELL”
15% is stale unwashed bodies; sometimes your neighbour is doing his bit for the cause.
15% is from gas that has escaped, either silently or robustly discharged thanks to the Pindi Channa that Indian is so fond off.
15% comes from the pantry where last weeks scraps that fell behind the trolley gently cry for help & deliverance.
5% comes from a layer of perfumed hair oils extruded on the seats, the windows and even the walls of the aircraft.
Indian has not discovered air fresheners or disinfectants or sanitizers or deodorisers. The next time you fly Indian please take a deep breath.
Do let me know, your formula may differ but your nose will detect the unique Indian smell.

Different lives, common threads

2007-09-09T22:22:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I was at a TIE seminar sharing experiences with the delegates along with a group of women. Each of whom has set out on her own to build a dream, a business, an opportunity, a commercial success.
There were four of us on the dais. Four completely different women, each operating in a very different space. When I went in and met them I thought that there would be nothing in common between the four of us. Except for the fact that we were all women entrepreneurs.
Boy! Was I wrong.
It was amazing. What transpired during the session proved to me conclusively that we had so much in common it was scary. It was almost like a repetitive pattern over and over and over again. For someone who prides herself on her individuality it was a sobering thought. “Are we all alike?” Is it a shared core of values & experiences that has encouraged us take this step? Are we conditioned by our upbringing & experiences to behave in a certain fashion?
One ran a very successful wealth management advisory company, the other had set up a flourishing venture in the logistics space, the third was a creative person who had moved male hair styling from the barber shop to the salon floor.
Different backgrounds, professions, educational qualifications and age groups.
Now let me tell you what we all had in common
Recognition of the fact that we had support systems that made it possible for us to do what we do. Husbands, Brothers, Mothers, In Laws, household help. People who supported us & gave us the freedom to follow our dreams
Integrity was the foundation of our business. Each one wanted to do the best possible for clients, customers & staff. Quality would not be sacrificed for commercial considerations
Passion & focus on the business was primary but so was the desire to balance the yin & the yang. Kids, husbands, exams, homes, everything had to be well managed …..to the best possible way.
I could go on but you get the drift. It was uncanny. I had a wonderful time that evening and so did the rest of the panel. I think even the audience enjoyed the interaction. How can you not when four wonderful ladies are having a blast while doing some soul searching and sharing. And that was the most important feature that we all shared…..have fun, it makes hard work easy!

Armchair activists

2007-09-02T17:56:00.000+05:30

Think of all those times you have sat back in the comfort of your nice home surrounded by friends and family and cribbed about the politicians, the police, the municipality, the encroachments, the filth, the crowds, the horrendous traffic, the power cuts, the proliferation of hoardings, the loud speakers during Ganesh or Durga puja, the crime rate, drunken teenage drivers, the Naxalites, the vanishing forests, wildlife poachers etc etc.
I know many of you would feel very strongly about some if not all of these issues.
Many feel the frustrations but few want to do something about it.
We are too busy with the minutiae of our lives to see the role we play in the big picture. Our immediate problems and issues consume us leaving us with very little energy for the rest of society.
The families we belong to. The friends we manage to make and keep. The jobs we hold. The bills we pay. The children we bring up. The house we live in. These become the boundaries of our universe.
Unfortunately, the rest of the world is clamouring for attention. It buffets us every day. It wears us down and threatens our very existence. Every single factor is linked in some inescapable ways. We cannot see the connections but they exist.
The time has come when we need to realise that the minutiae of our lives depend on our understanding of the big picture.
The time has come when we need to stop talking and start doing.
The time has come for action.
Pick a cause that you believe in. Pick a cause that is impacting your life. Pick a cause that consumes you. Pick it today because if you don’t there may be no tomorrow!

We are born conservationists? Don't agree.....read on

2007-08-25T14:44:00.000+05:30

The last few weeks I have been spending a lot of time at airports. Flying is tiresome particularly when you are circling over Bombay for 40 minutes because of air traffic congestion! But flying is also fun because it gives you a chance to observe human behaiviour.
Here are some observations made on recent trips.
1. Indians are born conservationists.........don't believe me? Visit an airport loo. You will find the proof you need & your nose will provide independent confirmation of my observations. We don't flush ergo we conserve water! Smart yuppies in business suits, Mama's with babies, Grandmas & grandchildren, middle aged housewives & giggly teenagers. It does not matter what social strata they come from. 50% of them don't flush after using the loo! Just think of the millions of gallons of water that we are saving!
2. We use soap & water sparingly........very rarely will you see someone wash their hands with soap after they get out of the loo. I find it strange that mom's don't tell little kids! They happily check lipstick & make up while the kid is clueless about basic hygiene!
(I must confess I am talking about the women, don't know what the guys are up to!)
3. Our consumption of aerosols is the lowest in the World. What's more, we do not believe in deodorants either. I was sitting next to a smart young lady in a jacket on a shuttle to the aircraft and she put up her hand to sweep away her fashionably streaked hair. I gagged! The Body odour was so strong. I almost told her when I caught the eye of one of my colleagues who was travelling with me. Don',t she was silently pleading. Don't say anything......you are not going to be sitting next to her! I held my peace.
4. The caste system is alive and ticking. There is a pecking order that is very visible.
Experienced travellers will look on the new traveller with exasperation and annoyance. Very rarely will you see someone helping out a fellow traveller with advice or friendly guidance. Business travellers will have their nose up in the air with expressions of disgust. Family groups will be enjoying the whole experience from checking out the Large screen TVs to sliding on the new tile floors. Single women on business trips will have their noses buried in their mobiles or laptops. Single men on business trips will be checking out the action making sure there is no eye contact! The minute you look up and catch their eyes on you they start swivelling around. You can sense the panic.
5. We don't waste a thing on our food trays. Packets of salt, pepper, water bottles even ketchup, everything goes into handbags or briefcases. I have even seen breakfast buns snuggle up to a mouse in a laptop bag carried by a proper gent in a suit . Plastic spoons, paper napkins, I'm sure some industrious soul must have tried to pocket the tray. This is reclycling in the truest sense!
Do me a favour. The next time you fly, just look araound you and tell me what you think!

Independence from what?

2007-08-18T23:10:00.000+05:30

I know a number of you are going to want to throttle me but I really think our problem as a nation is that we want to exercise our rights with no realisation of our responsibilities.
The two go hand in hand.
When we, the so called privileged lot do not understand and accept this basic tenet of society we guarantee that those lesser privileged, the face-less majority will also share this approach.
Yet another Independence day has come and gone.
I saw people wearing flags and then throwing them in gutters and streets just like so many dreams destroyed & chucked away.
I heard loudspeakers blaring patriotic songs in total violation of all the laws of the land.
I read reports of murder and mayhem, strife and gut wrenching hunger interspersed with cheap words of politicians celebrating 60 years of freedom.
As much as we have progressed we have regressed.
Basic human values have disappeared.
Kindness, consideration, generosity, integrity, we seem to have got freedom from all these values.
I don’t want this kind of Independence. Do you?
I think it is time we launched yet another freedom struggle. Any volunteers?

On approaching 50

2007-08-03T19:08:00.000+05:30

I’m getting close to the half century mark.
The mind is sharper than it ever was but the anatomy is rounder than it ever was.
There is an amazing clarity in terms of thought, purpose and action.
What is life about? Where do I want to go? What have I managed to achieve? All these questions are becoming less important. I am realizing that I measure my success in terms of the people whose lives I have touched. Sometimes they recognize and acknowledge it. At other times they don’t! They are blind to the intersections and overlaps of our lives. It should not matter. You must do it because you choose to. Not because you want credit for what you do. Seeking credit or recognition is inviting trouble. Invariably it brings along disappointment. Sometimes I am disappointed at the fact that people tend to forget what has been done for them. Sometimes I do seek credit or affirmation from those around me for the contributions I have made to them & their lives.I have not yet reached the stage of acceptance. The nirvana of knowing that credit does not count.
I hope the next 50 years will get me to that point

The choices we make, make us

2007-07-31T23:13:00.000+05:30

Last week the entire family was down. Each one had some health problem. Viral fever, muscle sprained, allergic reaction, tummy upset etc. etc. Some of the family took it in their stride. Others were complaining and made themselves and everyone else even more unhappy. It struck me that the choices we make, make us. I choose not to make a big thing out of a minor illness and it stays small and manageable. But some one who chooses to embellish every hurt, every symptom, every twitch ends up feeling like death warmed over. The same problem can be tackled with a smile or a frown. It is a choice we have to make. What makes each of us special is that every time we are faced with decisions we choose. Happiness or sadness, fulfillment or regret, love or antipathy. Our choices colour our world and we must learn to stop blaming others for what they have done to us! Wrong choices lead to regrets and resentments. If only more of us understood this simple truth. Life is all about choices. Living is exercising that Choice.

Playing to the Gallery

2007-07-29T18:32:00.000+05:30

I’m sure many of you have been to an event where a group of people get together on a stage to talk about a given topic. Most folks refer to this as a panel discussion but there is more pontification than discussion in these Panels!
Have you noticed how most of the members of the Panel will refer to one or two of the VVVIPs present in the room, regardless of the topic of discussion?
I experienced this last week.
A magazine called Money Life was releasing a coffee table book called Pathbreakers. (If you are interested in finance and money markets do pick a copy of this magazine. It is excellent and insightful). They had organized a panel discussion on “Inclusive Growth”

The Panel had some outstanding people from Business, Bureaucracy and Academics. Each one a star in their own right.
Unfortunately, Mukesh Ambani was sitting in the front row of the audience. Unfortunately, because more than 50% of the panelists found it necessary to mention Mukesh or Dhirubhai or Reliance in their remarks. WHY? Is this some form of currying favour? Is this the way you show your respect by invoking the name of the biggest corporate in the room? What about the lesser gods? The room that evening was full of the who’s who of Indian Industry. From F.C. Kohli to Uday Kotak. No one made any reference to any other company but Reliance and the Ambani’s!
Was it because Mukesh was sitting the front row? I wonder?
It was equally obvious that he was uneasy. He did not seem to find the sycophancy endearing! I’m sure he has learnt to live with it but it was sad to see giants unashamedly currying favour.

The interesting bit about the Panel discussion was that each individual had a very different view. Unique and relevant. We always carry our perspective with us. Reminds me of the saying from the Talmud “We see things as we are not as they are” (Borrowed from my husband's list of favourite quotations)

At the end of the evening a couple of us got together for a drink and discussed the evening and what we got out of it. What was clear was the respect the Industry has for Debashish Basu and Sucheta Dalal. They had managed to get the BIG boys. Their views may be inconvenient to many a captain of Industry who is skating on thin ice but their integrity is what shines through.

I'm back!

2007-07-29T18:23:00.000+05:30

A long silence

A number of my friends asked me why there were no posts on my blog for a long time. I’d give the casual excuse that I had been busy with work had no time blah blah blah! Now that 3 months are over since my last post I can let you into the real reason.
I wanted to see if my desire to blog was a `trendy concept’ that would die out in a rush after the initial excitement. The only way to test the staying power of the desire to blog would be to take a forced break from it. (It also helped that during this period we took a three week vacation to the US 7 canada, my kid switched to a new college, my cheif home help fell seriously sick, my cousin celebrated her 80th birthday with a lunch for 300 people in Cochin, etc., etc.)
The idea was to take a break, stay away and then decide to either come back with a bang or a whimper! So here I am, back with a BANG.
I love my blog and have realized that I am here for keeps! Here goes once again!

A women's day? That's all we get?

2007-03-11T21:48:00.000+05:30

Once again the 8th of March has gone by.
Invitations from all corners of the city. I read Malvika’s coloumn & smiled. I knew the feeling. Had been invited to 6 different events across the city and thankfully said no to 5 of them.

The one I went to was an eye opener. Women in their best designer sarees & designer jewels wishing each other “Happy Women’s day" as though it was some sweet old dowager’s birthday.
Much primping & preening. Jealousy, gossip & intrigue lay thick like a blanket of Delhi fog along the carpeted hallways. Foreign holidays, maid poaching problems, admission problems (in American universities) were some of the topics I overheard.
What on earth was I doing there? Had I lost my mind? Did I really think that four hours of this was a meaningful use of my time? For God’s sake I was not even enjoying the chit chat! What an experience that was. Never again!

Here's what I feel……
I am tired of being a trophy to be feted and felicitated on one day of the year.
Every day is mine!
When I see my family enjoy the peace and quiet of our wonderful home, it is women's day!
When a client acknowledges my contribution to his business, it is women's day!
When my colleagues share details of their lives with me, it is women's day!
When my business associates implement my advice, it is women's day!
When a dear friend calls me for a chat after a long time, it is women's day!
When my husband asks for my point of view on an issue pertaining to his work, it is women's day!
When my daughter talks to me about her friends, it is women’s day!
I seize the day, every day & I am fortunate that I can.

Every one of us who to have families that love us, careers that fulfill us, friends that support us, domestics & staff who look after us, jobs to give us economic independence, health & life are privileged We all can make a difference to women who are less fortunate.
If we make Women’s day special for even one woman who is less privileged than us we will have truly made it Women's Day. Till then we kid ourselves every year about 7th March being Women’s day!
Game?

Travel and Tigers

2007-03-04T22:16:00.000+05:30

We took a short break in Ranthambore. Stayed at Khem Villas a wonderful resort run by Usha & Govardhan Rathore.
We have been chasing the Tiger for the last ten years. It all began with a visit to Corbett A couple of rides in to the forest but no sign of the Tiger. We were shown pug marks, claw marks and even droppings but no Tiger. We went to other sanctuaries but again the big cat was elusive.
Finally hit pay dirt in Ranthambore.
Three rides into the forest and on two we saw her majesty. Both times a Tigress, both times close. It was awe inspiring! At our second sighting, she was at a distance of 6 to 7 feet. I had this crazy desire to step out of the Gypsy, bow down before her and seek forgiveness for the human race!
The economy of Ranthambore & Sawai Madhopur is built on the Tiger Conservation project and yet there are still incidents with Poachers!
One live Tiger in the forest will feed at least 2000 people every day! The people of the place must fight for the Tiger because it is a source of income. Of livelihood.
The people of Sariska have learnt a bitter lesson. Kill the Tiger and you kill your own survival.
Protect the people who protect the Tiger. Don’t victimize them over petty politics.
I hope the Forest officials in Rajasthan get to read this!

Curiosity did not kill this cat!

2007-03-04T22:05:00.000+05:30

Curiosity & Conversations!

Spent a great evening with my friend Bichoo.

Like all old friends do we talked about ourselves & about the people we knew. We were exchanging notes and swapping stories about past friends & acquaintances. Along the line we also gave each other advice; Managing business, on families, Kids, travel, hobbies, etc. It was a lovely evening and even though we wrapped up late I was so energized that I went over our conversation and realized something I had missed earlier.

Chats with Bichoo are great fun because he is genuinely interested in knowing about people. These are not important people or celebrities or people who could give him the next million dollar contract. They are just ordinary people who had shared his life & space in the past. Bichoo was curious about how life was treating them. You could see that the concern was genuine; the delight in someone’s success was counterweighed by the trauma of someone’s divorce.

How many times have you walked away from a conversation with a friend and realized that there was only one subject in the conversation! Some people cannot “listen” and are not interested in a conversation. They are the monologue experts. All you need to do is an occasional uh huh! When you have a conversation with a friend you walk away enriched and informed! When it is a monologue you walk away saying never again.

I’m looking forward to the next chat with Bichoo!

College in Coimbatore

2007-03-01T09:16:00.000+05:30

Just back from a lecture at a Coimbatore College. I was talking about the use of celebrities in advertising.
While doing my homework for the lecture I realized that there are so few examples of the good use of celebrities in advertising.

The ones that come to my mind are Coke and Titan with Aamir, Nakshatra with Aishwarya (but then again what happens if Ash ups her ante? Frankly, I can’t see Nakshatra working as well with Vidya Balan or any of the new girls!) Fast Track with John Abraham and Domino’s with Paresh Rawal.
Rani Mukherjee with Munch & Saif with Lay’s communicate a sense of fun & mischief that is so integral to the brand.

I like Sharukh Khan as an actor (in some of his movies) but as a celebrity for a brand he is so stereotyped! He is always Sharukh Khan never the spokesman for the brand. Same is the case with Amitabh Bachhan!

Which brands do you think have used celebrities well?

It was a good experience visiting this college. The kids are smart and eager, the teachers are committed and willing to create spaces for the kids to explore. The college has a large well equipped campus. It was an eye opening trip for me.
I think it is high time corporate India moved out of the big cities and into the Coimbatore’s of the country. That’s where tomorrow’s markets and man power lies!

Now I want to visit an agricultural college! I am sure they will teach me more than I can teach them!

The New Year and old habits

2007-01-23T21:27:00.000+05:30

Books!
Have you ever thought about it?
Those five alphabets say it all.
For me books are not just books they are stages in my evolution as a human being, particularly my economic evolution.
As a kid from a middle class family, rich on values but poor on finances I lusted after books.
My idea of a dream future was one in which I could afford books as and when I wanted to buy them.
Imagine walking into a book shop and being able to buy the book I wanted to read.
Not having to worry about where the money would come from.
Not having to think of a budget.
Not having to ask for permission.
For me that was heaven.
Today when I walk into a book shop and buy a book it is no longer a simple commercial transaction. It is affirmation that one of my dreams has come true. It speaks volumes.
It makes me think of all those people who love to read but cannot afford the luxury of books.
It makes me realise that I have been exceptionally lucky compared to millions of my fellow citizens
It makes me realise that if I can help provide access to books then I would have helped many people realise their dreams.
Just think about it.
If you can afford it, contribute a book to a public library.
Spread the good word.
It will make many dreams come true.
Books are a physical symbol of freedom.
A freedom that you and I enjoy and take for granted.
Please don't. Every time you buy a book think of all those people who want to read but cannot!

2006-12-22T22:19:00.000+05:30

The pre-meeting ritual

Have you spent a year trying to fix a meeting with someone and been no closer to it 365 days later?
I have and therein lies a tale.

I see this everyday in the work I do.
Have seen it at close quarters in the last three years.
Fixing a meeting is not as simple as one would imagine. There is an entire ritual that is involved. There is a whole industry that supports this arcane activity. There is a mysticism in the madness. One has to learn to appreciate it or else it could drive you crazy. This post is a cry for HELP! This is also to ensure that all those who read this post take a sacred oath never to indulge in the pre-meeting ritual.

It all starts with identifying the prospect. Let’s say it is Mr X, CMO of Company Y. You know of Mr X (you may have met him at an industry do) and he has heard of you (Thanks to the fact that most media & marketing publications are constantly looking for grist for the mill)
You send Mr X a mail asking for a meeting and telling him why you want to meet.
Now you sit back and wait……and wait…….and wait for a response to your mail ……two weeks later there is no reply. You call Mr X’s office to find out from his stroppy secretary that he is in meetings! By the way ever noticed that there is an inverse relationship between secretarial attitude and seniority of the boss? Talk to any CEO’s secretary and you will get a polite professional response. Talk to a level below that and the response will be a tad less polite. Try the brand manager’s secretary and chances are you will get the shittiest end of the stick!
Now the pre-meeting ritual starts in right earnest.
First you need to limber up by sending some more emails that do not get replies because the MAN is busy in meetings and cannot reply to his mail.
Then you get your secretary to call his secretary to fix a meeting but the MAN is busy in meetings and so cannot make time for a meeting with you. Often he can’t even come to the phone.
Now you are counting the man hours spent in trying to fix a meeting and it is giving you heartburn because with the same amount of time you would have earned a decent fee working on a paying project.
You finally send him a sms and if you are lucky you get a reply. The reply says “I am busy in a meeting will call you back”. Two months of this and you desperately need a break from this bloke. In the meanwhile you discover that your phone bills have started mounting. Investigation reveals that his secretary and your secretary have been speaking to each other at least thrice a week……they have become phone friends. You still don’t get the meeting. But now you know from your secretary who knows from his secretary that he does not want to meet you! Because he a)does not want what you have to offer b) does not want to upset his agency by meeting you c) Is in love (and I mean this literally) with his media servicing person d) is worried that his own competence will be under the scanner if he considers a meeting with you e)Knows that he will need to put in some constraints and controls at his end etc etc etc.(You can take your pick) and still the bloke does not have the courage to tell you that he does not want to meet!

You go fry some other fish and then one day you are on a flight, cleaning out your mailbox and you chance upon this email in your sent box with a meeting request that never got a reply. At this stage you have three options.
Option 1, and the most obvious one is to dump the bloke. Get on with it, there are other fish to fry.
Option 2 (and I prefer this one) is to once again start the circle by sending him another email (I love the forward where you re send the mail you sent him almost a year ago, with a header that says maybe you did not receive this mail I sent you last year this time!) Option 3 is to send the same mail to his boss the CEO with a note saying that your CMO has been so busy building your brands through meetings that he has not been able to reply to his mails so now maybe you can help me out!
If you do this then remember to add the CMO to your supari list (those who want you Khallas) You will however get the meeting.

Ever wonder why people cannot be direct and honest? I do. It amazes me that a small man will give you the run around for a year when all he needed to say was “I’m sorry I don’t think there is any point in meeting you since I am not interested in your service or just not interested in meeting you!” It also amazes me that a BIG man will get back to you. He will reply to his mails, he will return his calls (Okay maybe his secretary or EA will but what the hell at least you get a response)

I always tell my team at work, you can tell the character of a person by the way he handles his emails. People with a moral backbone will respond. Even if it is to say “no thanks”. People who are weak and insecure will string you on. So if you are being strung along you know who you are dealing with. I have quite a few of them in my mail box right now!

.

2006-12-22T22:13:00.000+05:30

You thought Nepotism prevailed only in politics?
It still rules in Corporate India.

Last week, at a party hosted by Govind & Priti I met Hamsini. She made a comment that triggered off this post. We were looking around at the people there and it was obvious that many of them were batch mates or had known each other from their first jobs. It was very clear even to the casual observer that there was a strong underlying network that was morphing even as we observed the various inter minglings and interactions between people.
That was when Hamsini made a comment about how in Corporate India the old boy network had replaced the role of the traditional extended family
Just think about it. Two decades ago, business was done based on whose son/nephew/bhanja/mama/chacha/sadu you were. If you had the right connections, even if they were distant and convoluted, doors would open and you would be able to make those critical connections.
Two decades later nothing has changed. You still need to have those connections to get doors to open, you still need to have those connections to get that meeting, you still need to have connections to get access to someone higher up.
The only difference is you no longer need to be related by blood or marriage. You need to be related through the network.
There are three kinds of networks that operate at different levels
The first & the most important one is made up of batch mates. They have seen each other warts and all. Almost like a marriage. Have been through thick and thin. They may have treated each other like untouchables in college but get them out of that environment and they cling together like cling film.
The next network is the first job network. People have come together from different backgrounds and are all experiencing firsthand the wonders of the work place. Friendships made in your first job tend to last (I know that for a fact) Typically this special position is reserved for the so called batch mates – the lot that got recruited with you. Last years trainees are normally not part of this hallowed group. Next years trainees do not exist!
The last & final network is made up of your immediate bosses or your immediate reportees. This one is really strange. You may have thought your boss was a shit (while you reported to him) but you still chat with him as an old friend when ever you meet. You know that if he needs help or you do, a phone call will suffice. With juniors, you can now be magnanimous and be a good pal. More so if the junior has done well for himself & is now in a position to do you favours. He may think you’re a shit but he still willingly remains part of your network.

Just think about it……You still have to cope with that nasty uncle you never liked & keep smiling through his unfunny jokes. Except this uncle was your boss at some point of time…………it is all a relative matter.

Do you have a say with what happens to your money?

2006-12-11T20:34:00.000+05:30

I discovered today just how much I have upset the Indian media planning & buying industry! Two years ago (maybe a little more) one of the leading doyens of the Industry called for an informal meeting with the heads of the top 5 media agencies and major broadcasters. The agenda was simple "How do we put a stop to media audits" what had them riled was that an "insider" had turned "traitor".
After much deliberation and chest thumping it was decided that this group would take two steps. Firstly get media owners to affirm that media rates could not be shared with a third party and secondly to support an audit firm who was more focussed on media process than media strategy (primarily because they did not have the capability or tools to audit strategy!)
Unfortunately for the people concerned, things did not work out quite as planned. Media owners refused to get officially involved. They left the decision of rate sharing to the advertiser. In any case, most of the agencies seem to have forgotten that it is the advertiser who pays the bills. Surely he has a say in what happens to his money. The deal that has been done on his behalf is a tri patite deal. He pays if he does not consume! The agency does not accept the liability of short consumption of committment. Then again if the advertiser changes media agencies mid stream, he takes his deals with him! Surely it is his decision whether or not to share rates with a third party.
The public stance that the group decided to take was to support media audits, provided they were unbiased and factual (Thus implying that my company was biased and incapable of sticking to the knitting!) The leader of the group actually told his clients that he would refuse to work with them if they hired my firm to conduct a media audit. To his credit I must acknowledge the fact that most of his clients stayed away from us!
I find it so strange that so called leaders of the Industry are scared shitless of someone who is just trying to ensure that resources are treated with the respect they deserve.
The problem is that these people know they are taking their clients for a ride. They just don't want their clients to discover that!

Fear is a constructive emotion!

2006-12-10T18:59:00.000+05:30

On Friday afternoon I was part of a panel discussion on Enthreprenuership organised by Dr Raju Bhatia at Taj Lands End under the banner of The ITM School of Business.
I was not very excited about the event when I left the office but it turned out to be one of those very meaningful sessions.
One of the key contributing factors was the panelists. Sriram of Crosswords (ex actually and I can already see the change in crosswords in just 3 months) Murugavel of Bharatmatrimony, Rahul Nanda of Topsline were among the panelists.
The second reason why the event was special was the honesty and passion with which they all spoke of their dreams and ambitions.
But what struck me as being the single unifying factor was that each one of these extremely successful profesionals acknowleged the role of fear in their professional lives. It is not a fear of failure, rather it is a fear of not trying! What unified these highly talented individuals was the fact that they had all given up the known to step into the unknown. They were following their hearts even though in some cases the head had said no! Dont do this.
It was quite amazing to have each and everyone of them agree to my articulation of this unique aspect of starting up a business!
It is very important to harness this fear. To use it as a constructive element and to build on it. We all agreed that we were not scared of the external world or external factors. Those problems we took in our stride because they defined the space that we had ventured into. Competition, business, criticism, these were all par for the course. The internal fears were what had to be controlled and managed. Will I be able to make it to my satisfaction? The fear of being able to live up to the expectations of those who were important in your life. The fear of doing the right thing by your employees. The fear of success changing you and failure changing you even more!
I find that the more I think about these issues the more I feel that every person who ventures out of the corporate world to do something on his/her own is actually a little crazy. You need to be nuts to exercise your choice and step out of the safety & security of the corporate world.
But when you take that step you discover your strengths, internal resources that you never thought you had.

The passion that each of these people feel is so strong it is like a shield that protects them. Murugavel summed it up brilliantly when he said "After all I did not start Bharatmatrimoney to make money. I started it because I knew there was a need. If it failed I would have done something else. As long as I have my life I know I will do what I have to do" He had a very intersting concept of measuring "completeness" in a person. According to him there are 4 zones that each person needs to be aware off. Any imbalance in any one of these zones will disrupt your quality of life.
The first is the professional zone, the work ethic. Treat it with respect.
The second is the spiritual zone, if you do not have a religious or spiritual side you are incomplete. The spiritual zone also covers your social consciousness, the need to help those less well off.
The third is the social zone. The ability to connect with your friends and relatives. Your willingness to make time for them.
The fourth is your family zone. It is the family that actually centres you and makes you a better person & professional.
Rahul Nanda was another person who made an impact. I have always seen him covered at parties on page 3. His public image is of a beefy party animal! Not suprising considering that he is a martial arts expert and responsible for private security for some of the nation's biggest celebrities. After meeting him I realised that the public image is cultivated & carefully crafted. It reminds me of Richard Branson & Vijay Mallya. The larger than life persona that is actually focussed at building the company. He is very very sharp & does not miss an opportunity to promote his company. Fortunately the sincerity with which he promotes his company makes it palatable. This is who I am and this is what I represent.

This event also gave me an opportunity to interact with Sriram for the second time. I have known him through the books he reccomends and it is strange but when you meet him you immediately can connect with his love for books. Earnest & intense. These are the two words that I would use to describe Sriram. I hope his new venture is a major success & I hope he continues to review books. I want to see "Sriram Reccomends" not only at Crosswords but all over the place. I think Sriram should start a book club like Oprah's book club.
I will sign on as a member the day he announces this venture.

I went to the event planning to teach the students at the seminar. I did manage to give them my perspective & the feedback I got from them was very positive but frankly I came away with much more than I had when I walked into that room.

What I do......

2006-12-06T20:12:00.000+05:30

I make a difference

To the lives of those who work with me or for me.
I provide an intellectual, emotional and financial base. I drive them to realize their full potential to fulfill their ambitions and to have ambitions if they are lacking in confidence. I have learnt that a good teacher can help the poorest student excel.

I make a difference

To the industry that I am part of. The media and marketing Industry. I have followed my convictions and stayed true to my principles of honesty, humility and hard work. I owe this industry. It has made me who I am, it has given me opportunities to learn, earn and be challenged.

I make a difference

To the way things were done in the media business. By changing the way advertisers look at their media investments by helping them understand what works for them and what does not. By helping my clients improve their media ROI by helping them frame the right questions so that they can expect the right answer. In fact demand the correct answer.

I make a difference

To the community I live in by being socially aware, by contributing my time, talents and money to those less privileged or more handicapped than me. By telling every cab driver I meet not to use his horn indiscriminately. By thanking a stranger for a courtesy he has shown, by admonishing a child or adult who throws waste on the streets!

I make a difference because if I don’t I will cease to live. I may exist as does this table, that chair. I will occupy a speck of the universe but will not interact with it. I choose to live, I choose to strive, I choose to thrive and therefore I live to make a difference.

Ethics in the work place

2006-12-05T19:50:00.000+05:30

I had an interesting day. (yesterday)

Met an old friend who is inbetween assignments and got to talking about ethics in the work place. One of the reasons he quit his job was because at the end of two months he realised he could not take the lack of ethics in the workplace. He had heard about issues with the company but felt that he could stay within the organisation but stay above it.
Two months was enough to teach him that if you turn a blind eye to what goes on around you then you are as much a part of the problem as those who actively participate in underhand dealings.
I find this so true. We tend to wash our hands and feel good in the fact that we have clean hands but then we forget that if we stay in the filth, at some point of time our hands are bound to get dirty! It makes me feel so good to realise that there are people around me who I respect & admire who share my moral coding. I wish there were more people like us in the world!

Had lunch with a new friend who wanted my advice about his business plans. This guy is a very nice human being. Hardworking, mature beyond his years and very very talented and capable. Talking to him made me realise that I have travelled quite a distance in the last 5 years. Some very bad stretches but fortunately more good than bad.
Stepping out on your own is not easy. You realise exactly how HARD & difficult it is. People you consider your friends are waiting for you to trip. The large majority of your so called friends take pleasure in seeing you trip. Maybe it is for the dubious pleasure of saying "I told you so!"
My experiences during the initial phase of setting up my venture have taught me that almost everyone has an agenda.
Even those who love you have an agenda.....they don't want to see you hurt. Often they tell you what they think you want to hear rather than what you need to hear! Out of concern for you they nudge you away from the difficult decisions. They are being kind but in their kindness is the worst cruelty. The attempt to cushion the fall causes more damage than good.
My experiences have taught me that it is better to say what you believe rather than what the other person wants to hear.
This has been my motto for the last 5 years. It has served me well & I hope it will serve my friends and those who come to me for advice.
My friend left lunch with a brutal, honest assesment of his business plans but with a germ of an idea that could work. I hope he takes it to the next step.

2006-11-12T16:01:00.000+05:30

WOW! I finally got down to setting up my Blog with a little advice from my teenager! It is so great to be in a position of seeking advice instead of giving it......
This space is going to be full of wit, insights & solutions for everyday issues (I hope) and rants & raves.

I just spent three days in Goa with my team from the office. We completed three years (despite all the wonderful support from the advertising agencies) and decided that it was time to take a well earned break. Fortunately the financial situation justified the decision & made it possible. I kept it a surprise from the team and gave them gift vouchers (again designed by above mentioned teenager) at the party we had on the 13th of October. Everyone was thrilled at a) the fact that we were going to Goa and b) that it was an all expenses paid trip and c) that we were taking two days off from work.

Unfortunatel, I goofed, or so my secretary tells me and we ended travelling by 2nd class on the Konkan Kanya Express. Now don't get me wrong but why does train travel in India have to be such torture?
I got into the train at VT. The floor was littered with Garbage! Food, papers, a couple of empty mineral water bottles and even a chicken bone! There is no system to clean out the compartment when the train gets into a station. WHY? I caught hold of an urchin loitering around on the platform and got him to clean out the compartment for 10 bucks. Barely had I sat back on the seat when I noticed I had company....a family of cockroaches! immediately shoes were removed and thwack thwack the problem was solved. (I refused to worry about all the cockroaches that would emerge once the lights were off)
The rest of the team caught the train at Dadar and in the excitement of the hourney the dirt and filth was forgotten. Three hours later my bladder announced it's existence, two hours later it started protesting! This was the bit that I was seriously worried about. I had no options but to use the LOO.
Why are we indians so filthy when it comes to our toilet habits? Forget the people who do not have toilets ebven the people who have toilets do not know how to use them!
Why do we have western style commodes when squatting pans are much better? At least the distence between a pan and my behind is greater and last heard bacteria & germs could not jump! Fortunately one toilet had a pan, fortunately there was water in the flush and fortunately I had a blocked nose.
The next shock was the garbage bin......there was none! Everyone kept flinging their garbage out of the window or under the seat. I asked the TT and he had no explanation. Imagine the Konkan Kanya travelling through pristine countryside verdant green fields and majestic hills and all along the line a steady stream of refuse & garbage polluting the countryside. Why can we not respect the environment. Garbage must be collected in the train and recycled. In fact we must have mesh on the windows to prevent people from throwing things out. At every major junction cleaning crews must come in and clean the garbage. Recycling centres should be set up so as to generate income for local bodies and encourage waste segregation.
There is so much that we as a nation need to do and it all starts with respect.
Respect for the environment.
Respect for the other person who will use the Loo.
Respect for the next person who will get into the train.
Respect for the fact that we are only entitled to use the facilities provided to us, they do not belong to us. They are on loan and we need to always remember that.

This train journey has been a life changing experience. Despite all the progress that we have made as a nation we will never be able to enjoy true development & positive change unless we learn to respect what we have.
It looks like I will need to stop complaining and do something about it. I think I will start with a letter to the Railway minister. If I am able to convince him that an Indian Railway recyling programme can get him to Wharton, things will move.